Buffer's

Buffers

A Buffer is a cushion that is used to help in situations that you may not feel comfortable or safe in. Most often they are people but can also be techniques. The most important thing about a buffer is that you put it in place before you need it.

My most used and simple buffer is the wash room. I have a hard time in public so I can get very agitated, emotional as well as all the other feelings that come with Bipolar Disorder. If I feel it's too much for me, I find a bathroom to hide in. I'm able to have 'alone time' and calm down while thinking of what I should do when I come out.

I have a large extended family. We come together a few times a year. This is one of the hardest things for me b/c of my fear of crowds and also b/c of emotional issues with family in my past. I've been able to cope with a little pre planning. I pre arrange a friend I can call during the event to blow off steam. As soon as I arrive, I look for places to escape like a bathroom or bedroom if I need to get away from the crowed. If it's possible I let at least one person I know what my difficulties are so they can help if need.

An escape plan is key. Pre plan a reason why you need to leave early before the event. Last year I went to my cousins wedding. For personal reasons I was having such a hard time with wedding stuff to the point that I saw a pic of her dress and it messed me up. The wedding was for my younger female cousin, all my cousins are older and boys, so I wanted to be there so bad.

For a year I worked on past emotions so I could come to her wedding. The ceremony was difficult for me but I kept it together until almost the end of the reception. This was like the perfect storm for me, a wedding and my family together.

My immediate family knew how hard this was going to be for me so they kept their eye on me. There was a point after dinner and before the cake when I couldn't hold it in any more. I was holding so much in that when the flood gates would open. I went to the wash room and never came back. Thankfully my Mom was thinking of me and got the rest of us together (immediate family) right away. She even physically sheltered me, my red face from sobbing, from other people. It really shocked me not only what my Mom did but how every one who knew, were so understanding.

Another little family gathering one of my Aunts was hitting on a nerve and all my emotions between wrath and sadness were about to blow. We were already starting to get into it but I pulled myself away. I grabbed another Aunt's arm, who was married into the family, and pulled her in the wash room with me. I bitched and balled until I was done. LOL

When I was done my eyes were red but didn't really care. There was a line for the wash room and I found enjoyment in that. My Aunt that went in with me are closer now and each time I go into a situation like this it becomes easier.

Use your Dr as a buffer. If you don't have a good Dr already, it's important to find one that you can talk to on a personal level as well. There is information available to them so they can help guide you to solutions.

The Internet is a well known buffer if your reading this. There is specialised support in the form of group therapy. You can be involved in a 24 hr community dealing with your mental illness.