Who should I tell? When is the best time to share my mental health issues? How do I explain it? What should I share and what information should I leave out? These are all questions that arise in people with mental illnesses when relating to friends, work relationships and family. Sharing your mental health issues can have a positive or negative outcome but one thing's for sure is that there is an uneasiness about sharing this personal information about yourself and how the other person is going to react. Is your friend, boss or family member going to treat you differently? How to make a person understand what you go through and how to treat you when they could never fully understand when they have never experienced it and media portrays mental illness in the most dramatic ways?
First, why do you want to share this information? How will it benefit you or the other person? Is the person your sharing with able to understand and is open to what you are going to say? I tell people for various reasons. It can help explain my actions and quirks, once they are close to me I like them to know how they can help me or I just need some one to talk to.
The following are suggestions on how to explain your mental illness like bipolar.
-Simplify your explanation, strip it down to the basics. Share the information that is needed for each person.
-Educate yourself in your mental illness medically and socially.
-Don't use a lot of personal emotions while explaining.
-Have information like web sites for the person in explaining symptoms and other useful information.
-Think first how to vocalize highs and lows you may have in a way that's relateable like, 'Being manic doesn't make me crazy, I just feel adrenaline that I can't come down from. I don't sleep well, my brain races with thoughts from one to another and I tend to be impulsive. Then I have periods of time where I feel depressed and it's difficult to be motivated. Some times it's hard to get out of bed.'
-Let them know how TV shows and movies portray a small percentage of people and the reality is that your not violent or....
-Tell them the steps you are going through to help yourself like medication and therapy.
-Discus some of the symptoms they may see in you and how it may affect them, also how they can help. Some times when I'm manic I'm not aware of others because my thoughts are racing and I become impulsive or quick to be angry. I tend to spend too much money and talk a lot. I ask some of my friends to let me know if they see this behaviour because I'm not always aware of it. I can make adjustment accordingly.
-Discus when a depressive state is serious enough to call and hospitalize you. Let them know if you are able to distinguish the difference. I have a good friend where if I call and need to talk, he knows when I'm emotional and I want to talk when it's serious. I say I need to talk when you have time, med serious really serious or I need help. Serious is wake up, phone me even if on a date or sleeping and serious is come over now or call an ambulance.
-How can that person help you. It can be something as small as them understanding you and your actions, being a person you can talk to, letting you know when you aren't acting normal, helping you seek options for help, being an advocate, passing your thoughts by them to know if your level, getting help in finding and understanding information or supporting you with positive support. I have person in my life I trust no matter my feelings. I have a friend and family member I trust, they keep an eye out on me and I listen to them for guidance as to whether my thoughts are logical and rational as well as actions. They have the OK to talk to my Doctor as well. I have another person in my family that I've given permission to keep an eye on my moods and progress, giving me input. I have 2 people I can call in emergency and need help medically or to talk whatever the time. I'm fortunate to have people who care about me and support me but it did take work building this support network. Being honest with myself and others of my needs, asking for help and letting them help me as well as distinguishing who is genuine and trust worthy, vocalizing their role in my recovery and releasing trust to them in areas I saw fit, was pivotal in building a team to strengthen my mental health.
-Ask the person if they have any questions.
People may look and treat you differently after you tell them so be aware of the impact this may cause. This is why I need a reason to tell people. Not every friend and person I meat needs to know, especially the minute I meet them.
Please share with me some of your successes, fears and positive outcomes in sharing your mental illness with people around you.
